How to Improve Your Leadership Skills – #1 Managing Your Feelings

How to Improve Your Leadership Skills

One easy way to improve your leadership skills is to learn how to manage your feelings. Believe it or not, your feelings will either help or hinder you when it comes to performing and delivering at work. This is a really interesting subject and one that I never thought I would be typing a blog on.

I was having a business coaching session last year and my coach said to me “You need to check in with your feelings at least twice a day”. This reason for this is to ensure that you are in control and fully understand what makes you feel the way you do. Albeit happy, sad, frustrated or stressed”.

I thought, “What on earth have my feelings got to do with achieving targets, managing my team, driving productivity, holding people to account and getting the job done?”

Well, apparently, quite a lot!

My initial thought was that this was “nuts” however and it ended up crafting me as a senior manager.

As managers and leaders of either a business or home environment, people are always watching how others act. They look to see what makes people respond and what make people react. As we conduct ourselves throughout the day, believe it or not others look up to us for stability during times of stress and look for comfort during times of turmoil and uncertainty.

Below I have three “Innovate to Success Golden Nuggets” to help you through your day.

Tip 1
Schedule time to check your feelings.

I had a good think about what my coach said and decided that as I had nothing to lose and also no one knew that I would be actually doing, I thought I would give it a go for a week and see what happened.

So, I consciously stopped what I was doing, took five minutes to think and reflect on my thoughts and truly understand what was controlling my feelings at that time. I did this twice a day.

The results were amazing.  I was so much calmer, I could concentrate longer and I didn’t manage to lose my cool. All of a sudden people were seeing me as someone who was in control, someone who commanded and gave respect.

In meetings I just thought at a deeper level to how I was being perceived and why I was getting stressed and then took steps to control how I reacted to that. What a difference that five minutes made.

Tip 2
Understanding what makes you react and what makes you respond.

So we have now taken time to have a think during the day, what we must do now is plan out when we think we are going to enter into a “Danger Zone”. You know, when we lose control, when we shout, when we act in an irrational and unprofessional manner.

If there are people out there that just “push your buttons” then you need to prepare for when you are going to meet or encounter them next. If it is in a meeting then think carefully before the meeting and try to plan out what you think is going to happen and make sure that you respond and don’t react. Keep Calm!

When you react you lose! We must be in control otherwise it will negatively affect our personal brand and your ability to think and act rationally. If in doubt, take a break and get some fresh air and carry out some deep breathing, when composed and in control, then re-enter the room/meeting and continue in a composed manner.

Tip 3
Watch and learn.

This is a great time to now look and learn from the people that inspire us. It may be someone in the office, it may be someone on the TV, a businessman/woman or a politian.

The best way to get ahead and progress your personal development is to find a mentor, someone who has what you want and quite simple copy and learn their ways. You need to make sure their method/ethics resonates with you and aligns with your values.  More than likely they have actually borrowed someone else’s plan and method anyway.

Watch how they react in meetings; watch how they respond in a stressful environment. It may be during a presentation or speech just check how they answer questions and watch. Then watch and study the watchers, see what they think. Are they impressed with what they have seen or are they turned off?

Check it out, its really powerful!

So there you have it, 3 top tips to help build your leadership skills. These three tips are integrated into my Drive programme. They all fall under the third section called INTERROGATE, which is all about digging deep and really understanding who you really are.

Please feel free to leave a comment to let me know if this has helped you in any way, also to share it and tell your colleagues and help to spread the message.  Don’t forget to check out my other blogs to help you reach your personal and business goals – all the links are below.

Have a great day!

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